Us and the Sea
by livingforfiction
Summary: Harvey thought about what might be the most beautiful gift he could give Donna for her birthday. And he finds it; a place where they could run and hide together anytime, away from everything and everyone.
1. Chapter 1

A new home. A beach house, two immense floors, just a short block away from the beach. Ah, East Hampton; a zone of virgin ground, still barely habitated, this house being one of the few in the recently available lot of a thousand miles of extension.

He hadn't told her he was buying it. It was a secret he kept for six months, because he wanted to take her there and offer it to her for her birthday. At first, when he thought about getting a new place for _them both,_ he wanted to have one built specially for her, but when he expressed his wish to his realtor, the man came the next day with fresh news: The first property on that ground was being built already, and it wasn't going on the market until it was ready, but of course, he could get his way with that house. He asked to see it, and he thanked the odds because it seemed as if it had been designed by he and Donna. It was still at half of the building process, but considering the ongoing works and the preliminar plans, he thought about buying it as soon as he could get it. Also, if he sealed the sale already, he could order whatever changes he wanted.

And that's what he did, months later: he took her there. When they were dropped there, and she stood in front of that huge place, she didn't know why she was even there, he hadn't wanted to tell her.

"Why are we here?" she asked with a smile, admiring that house with fine eyes, examining it. Before he answered, he wanted to check her expressions, just to confirm she liked it. Well indeed, his guts were right; basing only in her face, he knew she liked it.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart." It came out of his heart, slow, deep heavy words.

She looked at him. "What?" and furrowed her brows. Maybe he was going to tell her a story about this place and why it is important to him, and the 'happy birthday' just came out. He had told her that three times today already, and it wasn't even noon.

He tucked his hand into the pocket of his jeans, and out came a key with a red heart shaped acrylic keychain attached. "I hope you like your gift."

Her jaw dropped, her lips opened. Her head shook, "No way".

He handed it to her, she took it, still not believing he… _he bought her a fucking house?_ This man.

"Did you-"

"Yes, Donna…" he stepped forward until his mouth could brush her forehead. "I bought you a goddamn house, yes." and he kissed. "C'mon, I want to see whether or not it's exactly like I asked it to be." he started walking and climbing the stone steps. She followed, still a bit dumbfounded, the key intertwined in her fingers. As they were going up, -it was a long-ass way up the steps- she couldn't stop the admiration growing in her chest by seeing that vast sea; that white virgin sand, the clear blue sky, the sun hitting them deliciously, the fair amount of cold giving that autumn satisfaction. She turned her sight the other way… nothing but grass and trees. Only them and the sea.

Up they were, forty hundred and thirty feet away from the edge of the cliff. She plugs the key in, twists twice, and the wide glass door opens.

She smelled vainilla. She looks down to the floor, white marble, it's slippy. To their left, the kitchen; an aisle, as she likes. To their right, a black wood table, shiny and large. A bunch of fruits in the center, in a wicker basket.

"So?" he asks, a smile in his face, she's not talking.

"It's... gorgeous." she says abruptly, still taking everything in. In the center, a fireplace, a tv. In front of it, a white leather couch. It's huge, by the way. Another carob tree table, smaller, with tiny flowers in the center.

Against the opposite wall, painted in baby light blue, a body-length painting of a brunette woman floating on clear water. Her expression is peaceful. "That's beautiful!" she exclaimed as she crossed the first floor to admire it closely.

"I thought you would like it." he said, his voice resonating while he followed with slow steps.

"Who did it?" she turns around.

"An old college pal's daughter, Francesca. She's very talented, apparently. I ran into him last month and I mentioned I needed artworks, and he told me his daughter has a website. It's… wonderful."

"It is." as she looked around, she saw the long marble staircase with wide steps beside her. Then she looked at him, still in a cloud. Tenderness took over her. "What's upstairs?"

"The best part."

She nodded, and smiled wide. His mouth looked deliciously tempting, but she saved those cravings for later. "Let's, then."

She went up and he followed behind, checking in silence that everything was exactly like he asked. The staircase turned as it led to the second floor. The sea in all its magnificence, shown through a full length window with white divisions for every piece of glass. A long hallway, ample, because they both despised narrow spaces. First door at the right, a bedroom. Black and white patterns, classic, simple, but beautiful. She was just about to open the opposite, the first at the left.

"The rest of these doors in the hallway are guests rooms." he added.

"Guests rooms?! All of these?" she exclaimed and turned to him.

He smiles, and he nods. "Just in case. We invite whoever we want, or we don't."

They keep walking, side by side, and she counts a total of four doors in the hallway. It's a long-ass hallway, considering the bedrooms are generously spaced. When the walls disappear, the light of the day comes again, the wide windows at each side. At the left, all she saw was green of inhabited ground. At the right, the beach again. Like an indoor gallery, the rest of the marbled way is fenced by black metal railings with a beautiful flower pattern. Then the path comes to an end and splits in two, because in front of her, was the two-parts black sliding door of _the_ bedroom.

She turns around, leans against the railing. "What's in there?"

He grins. "_Our _best."

She walks impatiently fast and slides that door open. The king size, the black thick fluffy bed clothes with white details in it, **"Oh Jeez, those windows!"**. It was an incredibly bright room, the view of the sea to their right and paintings on the back wall. At the left, three doors. She walked inside, and she noticed the white plush carpet which covered up to the surroundings of their bed.

"Are we Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, or something?"

He bent lightly to her ear, "Aye, my lady." And his hands go up her arms, making her whole body get goosebumps.

At their left, three doors. That room was big enough to have more rooms inside of it, apparently. "Oh God, this never ends." she says while she stares at him.

"Go, open them."

There she goes. The first door, their bathroom. An insanely huge bathtub, black and white decorated like the rest of the house. She sighed when she saw the delicate lights above the bathtub; she was going to try that first.

Then the next door: his closet. It was empty, of course, as was the third door: _her _closet. It was as large as she always wanted her closet to be. That's when she turned around with her jaw down, and no word came out. He smiled so wide his cheeks hurt; he knew he would win her over with this.

"No shit."

"And…" she felt his arms evolving her. "Wait until you see the front garden, which is… magical."

She turns around. "Well, let's. Take me."

* * *

Another chapter will be posted soon. I'd love to know what you think and feel about this! Next chapter will contain domestic and simple stuff between those two, and a good M rated part. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: This chapter is M** rated.

* * *

The front garden. Accessed through a full-length sliding door, besides the fireplace. As magical as he said, with its neatly cut grass and delimited by gray stone, with a bunch of flower species along the entire way.

She felt small, and unimportant having that unthinkably huge sea in front of her. It was bigger than her; the house, the sea… _her love._ The gratitude peeked into her body with a slow pace until the water started piling up in her eyes. His silhouette appeared in her view range as he kneeled beside the flowers; she walked closer, approaching him. They were jasmines.

"These are my mom's favorites"

"Really?" her hand crawling up his shoulder. The sun hit their bodies, making their eyes narrow, and the wind disheveling her hair.

"Yes. I asked for them to be put in here because I'd like to invite her over someday… if that's okay with you."

"Of course!" she shook his shoulder softly. "She will love it, babe."

"Do you like these?" he raised his head around him, and he saw her eyes becoming red for the tears.

She smiled; the emotion was making it seem like a sad smile, but she was actually bursting out of her body. The love, the thrill of a new place, the… dream of her lifetime becoming a reality. She shakes her head, she can't say anything, but she strokes his hair, and he stands up, holding her hands in his own.

"I'll take those tears as a yes."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why all of this? For me?"

"Why not all of this for you?" he affirms while his eyes sink into hers. And she kisses him; lightly, softly, tender.

"How long are we staying?"

"Well, lucky us, it's friday, so we can lock ourselves in here and not come back until monday."

"That's why you made me pack a small bag. But you wouldn't tell me where we were going! Had I known this was expecting us, I would have brought something to get into the water."

"You don't need something special for that and you know it." he speaks and his mouth is two inches away from her nose. He kisses it; she grins craftily.

"Oh shit, you're right."

"Now that I gave you the tour…" he held her cheeks with his hands softly, and stared closely into her eyes; in all those years, he never grew tired of that almost-green.

"I know that look." she whispers, and grins.

"Then you know you have to pick a place, now."

"Hmm, interesting." she brushed his hands with her fingertips. "Follow me, then."

She walks inside through the opened glass door, and the heat in her stomach became stronger than what she could bear. Her insides were clenching too; her breathing became heavier. Behind, he followed her, wondering.

She took the stairs, and stopped at the biggest step, the one which splits the staircase in two. She sits, and at the base by the railing, it's him. He finds it incredible to believe; but he doesn't say a thing. This is what he loved from her; the unpredictable, the spontaneous.

He kneels in front of her; she lets her body fall backwards, over that cold marble. The throbbing pulse of her heartbeats punch against her pelvis. His hands unclasp the buttons of her jeans one by one. He takes off her boots, and slides the jeans down her legs.

Then she feels her body becoming lighter; her panties slide down, the heat against her legs invades her whole.

Her thighs split, her calves go up and she can feel them resting above his shoulder.

Warm air.

A kiss in the left inner thigh.

**A shock of pleasure that makes her back ache.** Her panting; his mouth opening, closing and kissing.

Her hands grasping his hair as if she was grasping to her building orgasm.

Then, a whirlwind of skin, involuntary sounds and tension. Intangible energy that builds up inside the body and only comes up if we let go.

Letting go and flowing. Like the sea flowed along with them; the sounds of the waves crushing the stones at the shore mixed with the sounds of their insides, their guts.

…

That night, they cooked. It was a pretty cold night, so they started the wine from early on.

"So…" he threw a dishcloth on the aisle while he approached her, trapping her between his body and the cool granite. "Should we establish this as our getaway refuge?"

"We most certainly should." she said before taking a sip from her glass. "This is…" she swirled the glass looking for the words. "Wonderful, and surreal. I always thought we would get our own place, but…"

"For the record… this is yours."

"But… you paid for it." she chuckled.

"Because it's a gift. It's your name in the deed."

"You put my name in there?"

"Yup." he said it so casually, so simply.

She didn't know what to say, she had already thanked him, but a few things went through her mind in that second. If they ever broke up, that place would still be hers. What was he thinking?, she thought. "Thank you, I guess?"

"You already thanked me."

"I don't know what to say."

"Don't say a word." he whispered, and slowly gripped her lips with his. "The wine's good, isn't it?"

"Hmm" she nodded. "And so are you." her arms circled his neck, her eyes admired his face closely.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing…" he grinned while he held by her waist. "Is there something you need to talk about?"

"No, there's not. I promise."

Not convincing. She might be an expert on reading people and disguising emotions, but this time, his senses set off an alarm.

"Well… we're gonna have dinner, then we're gonna have a few drinks, and then we're gonna go to bed. We'll do some pretty fun stuff, and we'll sleep like babies." he recited, and she smiled; a mix of tenderness and desire boiling in her chest. "I know something's taking place in that head of yours, but I know you would tell me if it bothered you."

"As a matter of fact, babe, there is something in my head indeed. I just think I need to process it on my own before sharing it."

"Is it bad?"

"No. Just… intense."

"Okay. I'm right here." he whispered before kissing her once more.

* * *

**Well then... this has an open ending which I didn't plan! If you all would like me to, I'd love to continue this. What do you think is happening to Donna?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, this turned out to be longer than I expected! I'm happy you liked it, I enjoy writing about this magical place very much. Hope you like where this is going. xo**

* * *

**Intense.**

That's the word she used to refer to her current state of mind. He couldn't imagine why she wouldn't tell her what's going on. If it's not bad, then more reason for her to tell him. Maybe because it's too personal… _maybe she's pregnant_, he thought. As his time beside her passed, he had learned quite a lot about emotional intelligence. The idea of her being pregnant made him feel uncomfortably anxious and eager to know, so he could make her feel better.

"I know you're here." she smiled, and caressed his smooth cheek with sweetness. "Right now, I just want to eat tons, and then drink, and then… lie down in that couch."

"As you wish."

…

"Darling, you know I'd never push you." he started right after they sat.

She didn't expect him to keep cool about what she told him earlier; she knew he eventually would bring up the issue. And he, well, he was worried.

"But I am worried about you. What you told me took me by surprise. I don't want anything to be breaking these moments of happiness we're building together." he brushed her calf with his palm, her white socks barely touching his knee.

She didn't look at him. Her gaze remained glued to the carpet, and while the silence grew longer, the firewood across them. "I… found a bulge."

He furrowed. "Where?"

"In my breast." she was controlling herself, he saw that. The queen of self-control.

"Oh, honey" he stretched his arm and caught her neck with his open hand. She snuggled closer, then came a hug. A heavy, long, cozy hug. One of those hug that sticks into your memory for years. A hug when you needed one. "That might not be serious, you know that."

"Yes. But it still scares the shit out of me."

"I know." He didn't let her go, he didn't want to. He wanted to lock themselves in here forever so nothing could hurt them. But that's not assurance for safety, clearly. "Do you want us to come back home?" he asked when she parted.

She shook her head. "No. Just one more day, you know…" she struggled to find the words. He cursed destiny; this was supposed to be a day of complete bliss, and now destiny was playing them. "In case this turns out to be bad."

He fondled her cheek, he didn't know what to say. He hoped it wasn't bad, but none of them could know for sure. So, she was right. "Okay, then."

* * *

Saturday night, they departed from their new nest sooner than expected. They spent the day walking on the beach and talking about their plans for the house. Would they move permanently someday? Maybe when they retired, _if_ they ever did that.

They arrived at the City an hour later, and they stayed at his place. She couldn't get much sleep, but she did rest, though. She enjoyed the feeling of dropping herself on his bed alongside him.

"Try to have some sleep, my love." he whispered in the dark while brushing her cheek.

"I will." she replied. Her eyes kept examining his face over and over, like a loop.

"You need to stop thinking."

"I know, I just can't."

"Come here." he circled her waist and pulled them closer. His hand slid down and up her leg. His mouth kissed her nose softly, and she breathed out deeply. Like letting go a whole bunch of fears.

Then he kissed her better, and his hand reached the right side of her butt.

"Babe, as much as I would love to be in the mood… I'm not."

"That's not what I intended. I'm just trying to calm you down."

"But you're not calm, apparently." she smiled. She felt it with her thigh, he wasn't calm.

"Wish I could hide it." he smiled too.

"I'm flattered."

...

Sunday, first thing in the morning, she was being received by her gynecologist, who helped her get some peace due to the many years of knowing each other and the trust Donna felt for her.

There had to be a procedure to remove it, to examine it, to find out whether or not it was harming. It was arranged for right that afternoon, because she paid extra. If she could avoid the waiting, she would. It took general anesthesia and it ended sooner than she thought. In less than forty minutes since she got in, she was awake.

She was sent home and Natalie, her doctor for years, told her she would call her when the results were ready. She was called in for monday afternoon.

"Well, you can rest easy tonight, Donna. There's nothing wrong."

She sighed. A ton of load leaving her body. "Jesus Christ. So, there's nothing I should worry about?"

"Not at all. It was a bulge made of water and fats, something very common. A lot of bodies end up elaborating those."

"Oh Nat, thank you."

"Although, I did find something in your blood."

"My blood? Was my blood examined?"

"Yes, as a precaution. I order those tests because there might be something we're not seeing."

"Is it bad?"

"No, no…" the woman smiled kindly. "Apparently, you're pregnant, Donna."

She couldn't believe her ears.** "WHAT?" **_Seriously now, _she thought. "At my age? Are my ovaries still working?" She was laughing. Out of stress and nerves.

"They are, and healthily, it seems."

"Well…" it took her by surprise. She didn't know what to say or do, she needed time to process it.

They hadn't been trying or wanting it. The pill failed, like it does for many women.

"I'll give you a while alone in here, if you need it." Natalie was about to get up.

"Oh no no, it's just… it's a surprise."

The woman in front of her smiled.

"Well, I know this is a lot, Donna, but, there are some things I should tell you about."

"Sure." She couldn't believe she would have to tell Harvey all of this, all of a sudden. "Listen, Donna. You're entering the phase of perimenopause, as you told me a few months ago."

"Yes." she said, the tension still filling her bones.

"Well… you have to be very careful regarding this pregnancy, Donna. No stress, no hard work, good sleeping, good eating habits, no physical effort."

"So… you're telling me there's a risk."

"I don't want to alarm you, Donna. There's always a risk when it comes to pregnant women within your age range. Undoubtedly so if we add the early stages of menopause."

She couldn't say a word. It was _all too much._

"I'm sorry I'm shooting all this information at once, but I have to warn you, as your doctor."

"Of course."

* * *

"You're quiet, sweetheart." he says as they enter his place.

She drops her bag on the sofa and then leans against it to remove her shoes.

"I'm sorry." she says, a generic response.

"What is it, Donna? Is there something you haven't told me?"

She looks at him; she's tired. And upset, that's clear. "Sit." she says.

He sits beside her.

"I'm pregnant." Damn straight, Donna.

He didn't react. She lifted her gaze, she looked defeated. Only after a few seconds he could put a hand on her neck. "For real?"

"Yes, for real." she replies coldly, and her eyes avoid him.

"What is it? You don't want it?"

"It's not that, Harvey…" she finally grabbed his hand and fondled it with her thumb. "I'm almost menopausal, you know. I'll have to keep bed rest through the whole thing."

"Did she tell you that already?"

"Yes. Early stages of menopause means no stress, no physical effort, no hard work."

He looked at her eyes and saw them watering. "Hey…" he hugged her tenderly, like the protector he is. "It's gonna be okay, honey."

"I'm scared."

"Do you want this?"

"All I ever wanted is to have a family with you." Tears slid down her skin.

"Then, you should not worry. We'll do as you've been told and… damn." It was new for him too.

He couldn't help but to lay a hand on her abdomen and kiss her.

"Everything is going to be… exactly as we both dreamed, my angel." he said, so sure of himself while caressing her hair and her cheek with both hands.

"We have a place where nothing would bother us."


	4. Chapter 4

_This is short because I wanted to wrap up this story already. I think I've reached my point, have I? except you guys want me to continue this in some way but I would need help. **THANK YOU FOR READING!**_

Warning: some people might be sensible to one of the depictions in this ch.

* * *

**H's POV**

**She lost the baby last night. **

**I can't say much. I feel numb. I wasn't here, and I despise myself for it. She had to go through the loss of our child by herself; she's been sleeping all day, she hasn't woken up since she fell asleep last night, around three in the morning. She didn't talk to me, not while in the medical checkup, not while we were coming back home, not when I laid down next to her. I don't expect her to; her hell must probably be incredibly bigger than mine, and **_**if**_** she's hating me, I'll understand that too. She convinced me to go to that dinner, she said 'I'll be fine', but I felt that I didn't have to leave her. My gut told me so and now our child is dead. And she's dead and I'm dead too.**

**We spent a weekend at the beach house, and we were so fucking happy. Everything was perfect. I guess it was a matter of time, and those days were a gift.**

**I pray to God that this doesn't break us, because she is the only good thing I have in my life. My one duty was to take care of her, of **_**them**_**, and I couldn't even do that. I don't know what we're going to do now; what to say, how to look at her eyes again.**

Her silhouette peaked out of the doorframe into the living room. "Hi" she whispers.

He looks at her. Her expression is empty, her eyes are dark, her nose is swollen. "Hi" he replies.

She walks to the sofa and drops her body in it. He walks to her, slowly, trying to figure out whether or not she even wants him here. Then he sits, and he stares at her. _What on earth to say._

"You can talk." she said.

"I'm sorry. For not being here."

"No, it's not your fault. It would have happened anyway, and it's not like we didn't see it coming."

"But you went through all of that alone."

"Yes, and it's terrible. But we couldn't stop living our lives because of a risk we knew already existed, Harvey, please." she begged with her weak voice and her red eyes.

He had red eyes too, but he couldn't cry.

"Don't put this on you, too, stop it." she stretched an arm and brushed his smooth cheek with her fingers. "There's nothing any of us could have done."

She's completely right, he thought. It was fast and silent. Just a sudden wave of intense and paralyzing pain in the abdomen, as Donna described to her gynecologist, and then warmness between her legs. She had to rush to the bathroom; she sat, with her legs dripping red, and after a few seconds, the sound of the water splashing, a deaf noise. She couldn't look. She just pressed the steel button, let the water take everything away, and wiped her legs clean.

The most horrifying part was his arrival.

"What do you want to do? Just tell me and we'll do it."

"I wish I wanted to go back to work, but I need a few days. And that's a first, but… well, this is a first too."

He only caressed her hand. "What about we leave? In a few hours. We'll get some rest in there."

She kept her eyes fix in the infinite, while her mind whirled. "That sounds… great, babe."

He got closer and wrapped her with his arms. "We'll leave, then."


End file.
